


Towards the tulips

by Bethan_jackman



Category: Bridgerton (TV), Bridgerton Series - Julia Quinn
Genre: Anthonyisconfused, Benedict and Edwina want their older siblings to be happy, Canon Rewrite, Edwina is far more perceptive than she lets on, F/M, Fools in love who won’t admit it, Kateisconfused
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-18 07:14:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29239656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bethan_jackman/pseuds/Bethan_jackman
Summary: A slight rewrite on the events at Aubrey Hall in The Viscount who loved me.
Relationships: Anthony Bridgerton/Kate Sheffield, Edwina Sheffield & Kate Sheffield
Comments: 38
Kudos: 236





	1. Kate

**Author's Note:**

> An idea I had on a walk the other day.
> 
> What if Kate gave her consent for Anthony to marry Edwina in the library?
> 
> What if Anthony actually proposed to Edwina?
> 
> And what if Benedict and Edwina teamed up to ensure that their idiot siblings got what they wanted for once?

Kate was tired, no exhausted. She was slightly embarrassed but most of all she was confused. In the space of a single weekend her opinion of the man she vowed she would hate until her dying breath had turned from roguish arrogant rake to kind caring concerned gentleman. He had sat with her through the storm and for the first time in her life she knew she wouldn’t die from the thunder and lightning. He was nice. Kate had told him so right before she had finally, and somewhat regretfully relented her opposition to Anthony marrying her sister. If he could show that much devotion to a friend, it proved that he would show it tenfold to his own wife. Kate could not keep that from Edwina, she would not. Yet Kate could not ignore the longing she felt, the heat that burned through her when she felt his gaze on her, or the fluttering of her heart when he touched her and she certainly had not forgotten the kiss back in London. The simple fact was, Kate wanted Anthony Bridgerton, wanted him more than she could comprehend, she wanted to be the one he wanted to marry, the one he called beautiful, the one he wanted to ravish. It was selfish and Kate hated herself for it. She had spent so long trying not to be selfish and with each moment spent in the Viscount’s company it was becoming harder and harder.

Kate had eschewed all company that morning seeking solace with her watercolours in the garden. She needed a distraction and the therapeutic concentration required for painting was just the thing. So she sat on a stone bench ignoring the slight damp from the rain seeping through her dress and mapped out the tulips in front of her onto the paper. His words echoed in her heads, his warm brown eyes swimming in her minds eye but she pushed it away furiously mixing the small block of green paint into a watery puddle on her palet. There was a certain satisfaction in watercolours. Watching the paint bleed out into the minute crevices of the paper, forming spidery paths like clouds in the sky. She was just adding the veins of a leaf when a voice interrupted her.

“As graceful a painter as you are a ruthless sports woman Miss Sheffield.” The voice was deep, seductive but all wrong and when she turned she saw a man with chestnut brown hair, yes but the eyes, height and stature were all wrong. He was taller than Anthony and Colin, his eyes a light blue like his mothers. He had the same nose and mouth as Anthony but they pulled up at the left when he smirked and not the right. This must be Benedict Bridgerton. The second son, who Kate had not had the chance to meet.

“Mr Bridgerton” Kate nodded.

“Benedict please, I despair at formalities. I am surprised to see you here. Why are you not with the rest of the party at the lake?”

Kate shrugged. “I didn’t really feel like company this morning. How is it you are here? I did not see you at dinner last night”

Benedict grinned sheepishly. “No I arrived late. I had been at a party in London night before last so I had a somewhat slow start yesterday”

Kate blinked in surprise, she had not heard much about Benedict Bridgerton but what she had heard did not indicate he had the same rakish tendencies as his elder brother, but arriving late to his own mother’s party seemed unforgivably rude.

“I assure you I received a tongue lashing for it from both my mother and brother and alas I missed the famous Pall Mall match, which from what I hear from my siblings you were something of a triumph” Benedict added as if he had just heard exactly what she was thinking.

“Lord Bridgerton gave you a tongue lashing?” Kate responded hooked on that tiny piece of information he had just given her.

Benedict laughed and sat beside her on the bench. “Oh indeed he despises when I am not present so that he may use me as a wall to protect himself from our mother’s relentless match making.”

“I suppose when you are not there he is Lady Bridgeton’s favourite target” Kate mumbled and Benedict flashed another grin.

“Indeed, this party is first and foremost an event to ensure that Anthony becomes engaged.”

“He is courting my sister” Kate sniffed trying her hardest not to sound bitter or resentful. 

“Apparently so” Although Benedict did not seem so convinced. “Not that he talks about her at all, nor has she been invited to dinner, nor was she seated at his side last night. Apart from a bunch of flowers and a few dances one would barely think they were acquaintances”

Kate ground her teeth. “And yet he has been insistant on marrying for her. It wasn’t until this weekend that I was for it, but as I have gotten to know your brother better I think they are well suited.”

“From what I hear from Colin you two are somewhat foes turned friends”

Kate swivelled slightly in her seat, trying to ignore the lurch in her stomach. “Colin seems to have a lot on opinions on the matter.”

Benedict Bridgerton chuckled and from under his arm pulled a sketch book, flicking to a clean page and began sketching the tulips Kate herself was painting. “Colin just tells me what he sees, we as a family are quite invested in this little interlude in Anthony’s life, and I would have you know I am the most intrigued.”

Kate frowned returning to her own sketch book and dipping her brush back into paint. “Why is that?”

The scratching of charcoal paused and Kate could see Benedict shrug. “He is the only sibling I have that is older than me I suppose. We are very close and well I am the second son.”

“You feel under pressure?” Kate asked flatly.

Benedict nodded. “Of course. Therefore his marriage is of upmost importance to me. If he marries and has children I become nothing more than their uncle, and I would rather that than my brothers heir. That is the one thing I have never envied or coveted from Anthony. I would hate to have it all.”

“I suppose it was a lot of responsibility to take on at a young age.” Kate could empathise slightly with Anthony in that regards. Not that when her father died there was a title to inherit but knowing that she would need to ensure and secure Edwina’s future to benefit their own lives, she could only imagine the pressures that the new viscount had had to undertake at such a critical stage of adulthood.

“I want him to be happy though” Benedict added almost as an afterthought and despite Kate’s determined stare towards the tulips she could feel his gaze boring into her profile. “So I am afraid Miss Sheffield I must disagree with your opinion.”

Kate stiffened, what was this man implying? “My opinion on what?”

Benedict chuckled and Kate found herself grinding her teeth in frustration. “Your opinion that my brother and your sister are well suited. A blind man could see that they are not.” Benedict raised his eyebrows in shock when Kate turned to glare at him. “Oh please don’t take offense Miss Sheffield I am certain your sister is a delight, but she would not make my brother happy, nor would he make her happy and from what I’ve heard about you Miss Sheffield you want to ensure your sister’s happiness in every aspect right?”

Kate nodded stiffly biting her tongue to prevent herself from shouting at this infuriating man. 

“So I can in good faith assure you that your sister is not the bride for my brother.” He made the statement as if was a fact of life and part of Kate, the small part of her that longed for Anthony Bridgerton in her dreams was satisfied by the words. But the unselfish, logical part of her which ruled her life thought truly Benedict Bridgerton to be a stark raving lunatic.

“So pray tell who would be the bride for your brother” Kate ground out unsure which side of her was asking the question. 

And all the infuriating man did was laugh at her, with a knowing look flickering beneath his clear blue eyes. Were all Bridgertons this arrogant? Kate thought as she huffed. 

“My dear Miss Sheffield” Benedict finally said in between chuckles. “If you have to ask then surely you are as foolish as he” He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and stood looking down at her painting. “This is very good”

Kate was taken aback by his swift change of conversation and muttered out a thanks.

He picked up the painting his eyes studying it with an almost professional appraisal. “Shall I have it framed for you? I imagine it would look lovely in your home.”

Kate gulped feeling slightly flushed. Other than Mary he was the first person to praise her for her rather hidden talent. “I intended to gift it to your mother actually. As a thank you I mean for having us.”

Benedict smiled emphatically. “She will love it, I shall have it framed for you and return it this evening?”

Kate swallowed and blinked rapidly wondering why on earth this man who she barely knew was being so kind to her. “I er, well that would be very kind of you thank you Mr Bridgerton.”

“The pleasure is all mine Miss Sheffield, I shall see you at dinner”

And with that, the second eldest Bridgerton brother left her in the garden feeling a thousand times more confused than before.


	2. Anthony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anthony takes action

Anthony was tired. No he was exhausted. But most of all he was frustrated and confused. He had found Kate in the library, terrified and alone and he had comforted her, sat whilst she let down her tall stone walls and revealed to him her fears. He had been the one to make her feel better, and the satisfaction that had filled him for that was insurmountable. He desired her, he was even finding that he liked her and in that moment under that damned table he had wanted nothing more than to bring her to him and kiss her until the fear left her and she would be his. It had made Anthony’s heart swell to a threatening size but then it had all come crashing down when she had uttered a few short words.

“I feel I must retract my aversion to you marrying my sister Anthony”.

She had called him by his name in the same sentence that she had broken him into pieces. Kate had given Anthony what he wanted hadn’t she? Why did it make him feel so dreadful? Why was it after that fateful statement he had gone to bed and dreamed of her. Dreamed of Kate in his arms and not Edwina. Kate supple and desirable beneath him, whispering his name in need, whispering words of love. Love. 

Love was the crux of this infernal dilemma. Anthony did not, could not have room in his life for love and that was why Edwina Sheffield posed as the perfect wife. He did not love Edwina Sheffield, he would never love Edwina Sheffield. He could come to respect her and surely after their wedding night he would come to desire her and eradicate all memory of his fantasies with her sister. But part of him, the part which did not care that he may only love 8 years more and wanted, no craved, love, that part of him wanted Kate Sheffield. He wanted her with his name. He wanted her in his bed. He wanted to love Kate Sheffield. But he couldn’t. He had spent ten years doing what he wanted and his marriage did not fall under the category of things he wanted to do, rather than things he must do. 

Twenty minutes later Anthony felt like he wanted to vomit. The ornate chestnut box that held the family rings sat in front of him each stone glittering at him mockingly and Anthony scanned each one to decide which would suit Edwina Sheffield the most. In retrospect he knew very little about Edwina. Christ he didn’t even know her favourite colour. Anthony glanced down at his favourite ring, a gold band with a round cut diamond. Simple and elegant. In his minds eye he pictured it on an elegant pale fourth finger and then Anthony felt cold sweat beading on the back of his neck. He was picturing Kate’s hand! He had no recollection of what Edwina Sheffield’s hands looked like, and yet he knew every crevice, every line, every freckle of Kate’s hands. He let out a shaky breath and downed the rest of last night’s brandy, focusing instead on a square cut aquamarine diamond on a silver band. Perhaps this would compliment Edwina’s complexion. He sighed picking the ring up and transferring it to a velvet blue box. It was time to get this done once and for all.

An hour later he was sitting on the chez longe in his study and tea set on a small table waiting for Edwina. He had sent Milton to fetch her twenty minutes ago and as each minute ticked on by Anthony felt himself growing more and more impatient. He reached for his pocket watch for what felt like the twelfth time when there was a knock on his study door and Anthony stood as Milton popped his head round. 

“Miss Edwina Sheffield to see you my Lord”Milton said curtly nodding his head but Anthony could not help but notice the emphasis he made on Edwina’s name and the slight tone of disappointment. Christ everyone was far too opinionated in this household.

Edwina appeared a vision in pale blue and lace, her golden hair piled elegantly a top her head.

“Miss Sheffield” Anthony said hitching a smooth smile on his face and taking her hand he brought it to his lips. “You look beautiful today”

“Thank you my lord” she replied smiling a smile that did not quite reach her eyes.

Anthony swallowed convulsively and then motioned her to sit. “Can I offer you tea Miss Sheffield?”

“Thank you” She said politely taking her seat and glancing around the room with interest.

He poured out the tea adding milk and handing her a cup. “Did you sleep well? The storm did not disrupt you?”

Edwina blinked at him intensely as if she was trying to find meaning behind Anthony’s question. “Yes I slept very well thank you, and you my Lord were you disturbed by the storm?”

Did she know? Had Kate told her about the library? “No” Anthony said curtly hastily stopping any implications in Edwina’s mind. 

They sat in awkward silence for a moment whilst Anthony fixed his own tea and came to sit beside her. “I thought we might speak”

Anthony thought he heard her give out a slight snort and mutter “clearly” but he continued none the less.

“We have been courting for a while now” he began.

“All of an entire fortnight” Edwina bit off her eyes slightly piercing but Anthony continued trying to simmer his temper. 

“I am not one to prolong these type of things” Anthony all but snapped back. “The fact is we have come to know one another over this fortnight and I am delighted that you have come to Aubrey hall, I hope you have been enjoying yourself.”

Edwina’s smile was true now. “Oh yes it has been a most enjoyable stay, your library is wonderful as is your orangery.”

Anthony smiled in relief that she had found some comfort in the house. “I am glad, I do love it here” He paused wistfully running through his childhood memories. 

“My Lord?” Edwina prompted.

Anthony cleared his throat. “My apologies we were getting off topic-“

“We were?” Edwina interrupted.

“Yes. As I was saying we have been courting and I do not like to string these things out. You are a beautiful woman, extremely intelligent and I think that we are well suited. Therefore I have brought you here” He took out the box from his inside pocket and opened it infront her. “To ask you, Edwina Sheffield if you would do me the honour of becoming my wife?”

Silence. Total utter silence. Anthony searched her face as she looked beadily at the ring. A small frown had appeared between her eyebrows but otherwise she made no movement. Anthony waited knowing that sometimes women needed time to process information. Finally she seemed to take a deep breath and looked up at him her eyes clear and bright and seemingly decided.

“This is a beautiful ring my Lord-“

“Anthony please” He muttered and Edwina nodded in acknowledgement. 

“This is a beautiful ring Anthony and it is respectful of you to ask me for my hand in marriage” Edwina swallowed and Anthony could not ignore the sinking feeling in his stomach. Hearing his name on Edwina’s lips did not fill him with warmth or wanting. “But I cannot in good faith accept your proposal”

Anthony blinked. He blinked several times and then swallowed several times more before he croaked out. “I beg your pardon?”

“I cannot in good faith accept-“

Anthony waved off the rest of the sentence impatiently. “Yes you said that already, might I ask you why?”

Edwina reached forward and took the box from his limp hand and snapped it shut placing it on the table beside them. “Well I thought it was rather obvious”

Anthony made to interrupt her but she held up a hand and took a sip of tea effectively silencing him. This was maddening, a girl barely out of leading strings had the audacity to silence him with a single piercing look! She swallowed her tea and set the cup down, folding her hands into her lap. 

“You do not want to marry me Anthony. You think you do, you think you should - but you do not want to. That much has been clear from the beginning. I’ve come to the conclusion that because my sister was so adverse to the match you wanted a challenge and I seemed much more desirable when I was unattainable. Now my sister has granted you that blessing your heart is not really in it. Not that it was really in it from the beginning, frankly Anthony I have received more attention from your mother’s butler than I have you.” 

Anthony glowered not too politely at her for calling him out. “You seem to have a lot of opinion on my behaviour” He stated flatly.

Edwina shrugged. “How could I not? Truly my Lord you do not want me as your wife. We have nothing in common! It would be a simple marriage yes. I would give you children but we would never be satisfied with each other and that is not even considering the fact that you are so obviously smitten with my sister”.

Anthony tried and failed to not gape at her in disbelief. “Edwina you are quite-“

“I am not mistaken, you are simply blind to your own emotions as is my sister. There is not a day that goes by that she does not speak of you. You both are ignorant and stubborn about the feelings that you both so obviously have for each other and everyone knows it.”

Anthony felt somewhat humiliated by being called out by this infernal child. “You. Are. Wrong.” He spat. “Your sister.... your sister” But he did not have words. Edwina’s sister was infuriating, rude, incessantly argumentative, sarcastic and strong headed but she was also beautiful, kind, fiercely loyal and devoted to her family, caring.....Christ he could compliment Kate Sheffield until his dying day and still not have enough good things to say about her but he couldn’t. He just could not love her and then leave her alone in this world. 

Edwina raised an eyebrow at his obviously confused expression. “You don’t sound so certain Anthony so let me make this very clear for you.” Her face set into a hard line and her blue yes seemed to darken dangerously. “My sister is the most loving, caring, devoted and loyal woman I have ever had the fortune to know. She likes you, she doesn’t need to admit it to me, but I know her. I have known her for seventeen years and she has always put me first. She does not think herself beautiful but she is and any man who tells me that she is not is mad and cruel and I do not think you are either of those things. She is too good for this world and she is too good for you and yet for some reason she likes you, she cares about you and she cares about your opinion.”

Anthony did not speak, partly because he did not know what to say. Edwina was correct about all those things but he was surprised and somewhat relieved to know that Kate valued his opinion.

“So you have a choice my Lord” Edwina continued her voice devoid of polite feminine lilt. “You can accept the fact that you both would be incredibly happy together and you can vow to love, cherish and honour her as her husband. Or you can find another pretty blonde girl with less of a spine than I have, and marry her. You would of course completely shatter Kate’s heart in the process and leave you miserable and resentful. But I warn you Anthony Bridgerton” She leaned forward her eyes narrowed in anger. “If you choose the latter path and break my sister’s heart I shall make it my life’s mission to ensure your life is miserable. I will make you regret the day you were born. My sister deserves the heavens above and I will see to it that she gets them.”

Edwina drew back and stood abruptly, the anger leaving her face in an instant replaced with a delicate smile. Anthony stared up at her feeling dumbstruck. He had never expected this, never in his mind was there a scenario where Edwina Sheffield would refuse him, but in that moment he respected her loyalty towards her older sister. “Do we have an understanding my Lord?”

Anthony swallowed and stood trying to ignore his shaking legs. “I shall think on what you said Miss Shrffield.”

Edwina nodded seeming satisfied. “If you will excuse me I have a planned outing with a friend.”

Anthony nodded. “Please enjoy yourself I am sure I shall see you at dinner”

She smiled and turned leaving him to swiftly collapse back down shaking violently and feeling utterly helpless. God above he was confused. Not by what Edwina had said, she had made her point extremely clear. No he was confused by the internal battle. He was back to square one. Would he follow the dangerous path of joining his life with Kate Sheffield to only have it ripped from her when he inevitably died in the not so distant future or would he take the easy path, find a spineless pretty woman to wed and forever pine for the woman in his dreams? He stared up at the portrait of his father silently begging him for advise, but the portrait remained silent as ever. Once again in Anthony’s hour of need he was bitterly reminded that his father was gone and the hole in his heart deepened impossibly.


	3. Benedict

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Benedict confirms his suspicions that elder siblings are truly idiots

Benedict studied the painting as he returned to the house. It was really rather good, he had no idea Kate Sheffield was so accomplished. He had of course heard the tale of the pall mall game, and everything that came out of Anthony’s mouth about her usually was raving nonsense but Benedict found that he liked the woman. She was not his type of course, but he would not deny her her unique beauty, her quick tongue and sharp wit. In fact if there was a woman on this earth that was an exact replica of his elder brother it would be Kate Sheffield and maybe that was the reason Anthony was so obviously blind to his affection towards her. What was even more entertaining was that Kate Sheffield also seemed blind to her own affection towards Anthony. Benedict chuckled to himself, usually he did not intercede when it came to Anthony and his love affairs, but as his brother was so determined to marry this season Benedict rather thought he should at least do it properly and marry a woman he would actually enjoy. He glanced down at the painting once more and then made an executive decision. Colin and his mother had gone so far, but now it was time for Benedict to join this merry fray and see Anthony to the alter. 

Milton surprisingly opened the front door. “Mr Bridgerton” he nodded sharply. 

“Milton thank you” Benedict replied. “Might you let me know the whereabouts of the Viscount?” Benedict had long ago stopped referring to Anthony as my brother to Milton because the pedantic man would always reply ‘which one?’ 

“He’s in his study” Came a voice from across the entrance hall and Benedict turned to see Edwina Sheffield walking towards them from the direction of Anthony’s study looking rather pleased with herself. 

“Miss Sheffield” Benedict nodded. “Thank you, and might I ask what you were doing in my brother’s study?”

Edwina rolled her eyes and waved a hand in the air absentmindedly. “I was summoned”

Benedict found himself laughing at Edwina’s dramatic sigh. “Were you misbehaving? He doesn’t usually summon any of us unless we’ve misbehaved”

Edwina grinned rather dazzlingly and quirked an eyebrow. “It certainly felt like it at the time but alas no he summoned me to propose.”

Benedict’s stomach lurched at his brother’s idiocy but Edwina only grinned wider and giggled. “Oh you needn’t worry Mr Bridgerton, I didn’t say yes!”

Benedict was shocked and impressed, Edwina Sheffield obviously had more sense than she let on. “I presume you refused him on the account that he is so obviously-“

“Smitten with my sister? Quite.” She looked down to the painting in his hand and let out a soft “ohhhh, is that Kate’s?”

Benedict nodded. “Yes I was just sitting with her coincidentally reminding her that she was smitten with my brother”

Edwina sighed rolling her eyes again. “I rather think it’s an affliction that only eldest siblings have.”

Benedict smirked, he rather liked this girl, she remarkably shared her sister’s wit. “An affliction of ignorance and stubbornness? Yes I would have to agree.”

“Not to mention stupidity” She added. “Honestly it is rather infuriating.”

“ I’d quite agree Miss Sheffield. I should probably go and knock my brother’s head to try and get some sense into it.”

Edwina nodded thoughtfully. “Probably a good idea, I fear I have injured his ego he is probably feeling rather sorry for himself.”

Benedict nodded. “Oh most certainly, and will you be going to see your sister? She is in the gardens.”

Edwina shook her head. “Lord no! She would march me straight back here and force me to reconsider the proposal, I’d rather save myself the lecture. No I am due an outing with Mr Bagwell.”

Benedict couldn’t help but notice the dreamy expression which flitted through her eyes and Benedict smirked. “The scholar? I knew his brother, a good man.”

Edwina blushed and then grinned as if she had been caught with her hand in the sweet jar. “He is rather lovely and he loves to discuss philosophy which is even better!”

Benedict laughed and took her hand kissing it politely. “You Miss Sheffield are far more perceptive than everyone gives you credit.”

Her grin widened at the compliment. “Well yes I have been trying to tell everyone for years, so let me know how it goes with the Viscount, Mr Bridgerton.”

“Save me a dance and I shall tell you all about it this evening?”

Edwina sidestepped him towards the door a did a funny twirl looking back and blindingly smiling at him. “Consider it a deal Mr Bridgerton!” And with that she skipped down the steps and out into the fresh afternoon air. Benedict turned to Milton quirking his eyebrow. “What do you think Milton, a pound that my brother marries Kate Sheffield by years end?”

Milton’s usually stoic expression broke into a slight smirk. “End of the month I would say sir.”

Benedict nodded. “Done. Wish me luck Milton knowing Anthony I will probably have at least three things thrown at me.”

The valet sighed and muttered. “It’s likely”

Laughing, Benedict strode across the hall towards the study hoping beyond hope that his idiot brother would soon see sense.

He found his brother somewhat sprawled on the Chaise lounge, a hand over his face looking as if he’d just been punched. Benedict doubted that Edwina had caused bodily harm, at least not yet, but it was rather amusing seeing Anthony in such a crisis.

“I would offer my commiserations brother, but they wouldn’t be genuine” Benedict said taking a sandwich off the tea tray and popping it whole into his mouth.

“She refused me” Anthony muttered almost to himself. “She actually refused me” He groaned raking his hand down his face and then shifting to stretch out entirely on the chaise. 

“It’s not surprising if I’m honest Anthony. She really wasn’t the right woman for you, any one of us could tell you that and I believe she actually did tell you that. I’m surprised you even bothered asking.”

“I have to marry this year Benedict” Anthony snapped angrily. “We were courting of course I was going to ask her.”

Benedict sighed and leaned against the desk feeling rather sorry for his brother in that moment. “Well that was stupid of you then-“

“You are calling me stupid?” Anthony growled furiously but before he could say anything else Benedict shouted over him.

“YES I AM CALLING YOU STUPID BECAUSE YOU SO OBVIOUSLY ARE!” 

Anthony was up in a shot, his hand outstretched for Benedict’s throat but he dodged sending Anthony crashing into his desk, but his eldest brother seemed unperturbed and quite ready for a fight. He turned and charged, his fist drew back ready to punch. Benedict threw his sketch book and Kate’s painting quickly to the table before bracing himself for impact. Blocking the first punch and landing his own into Anthony’s stomach, he received a sharp hit to the kidneys. Benedict grunted and using his height to upend Anthony onto the rug and he pinned him to the ground with a knee in his stomach and a hand around his throat. 

“I could murder you” Anthony spat furiously.

Benedict grimaced. “You could but you won’t now will you fucking calm down and listen to what I have to say.”

Anthony seemed to sag slightly so Benedict let up and stood reaching down to pull Anthony to his feet. “Edwina Sheffield will never be the right woman for you. You already know why and I am sure she has told you why as well. Her sister on the other hand-“

Anthony groaned. “God above not you too, if you are here to tell me I should marry Kate-“

“That is exactly what I’m saying” Benedict stated firmly. “Jesus, Anthony why don’t you see it?”

Anthony stared at him as if he was in pain and then finally when he realised Benedict wanted an answer he sat and said. “I do see it, that’s the problem Ben. I see it morning, noon and night. I can’t bloody sleep for thinking about her!”

Benedict gaped at his brother. He had known from the age of three that Anthony may be somewhat unhinged but it wasn’t until this moment did he know that Anthony was quite simply mad. “Then what is the bloody problem? If you love her the -“

“Because I can’t afford to love her!” Anthony exploded and Benedict stopped, his brother wasn’t angry. His brother was scared, positively haunted. It was an expression he had not seen on Anthony’s face since....well since the day their father died. Benedict swallowed pausing his overrun thoughts and sighed. 

“You are scared to love her?” He said gently searching his brother’s face for his reaction.

“No” Anthony snapped but then let out a choked sigh. “Yes.”

Benedict moved to crouch in front of his brother , his hand enveloping his and squeezing it slightly. “Anthony, you can’t .... you shouldn’t let this fear of love rule your life. I...I will not ask you why you fear it , and I doubt you would tell me but I cannot let you make yourself unhappy by not marrying Kate Sheffield. You have been unhappy for so long, you have so much pressure on your shoulders that I know you cannot share but at least let us, let me, support you in your happiness.”

A tear splashed onto Benedict’s hand and he felt his heart break for his brother’s pain. Whatever haunted his brother was painful to watch and he couldn’t stand it. For his entire life Benedict had looked up to Anthony, his strong brave big brother and now he saw his brother breaking and there was nothing Benedict could do apart from hug him and pray that it would get better.

“I don’t want to leave her alone in this world.” Anthony mumbled thickly into Benedict’s shoulder.

“She would not be alone” Benedict whispered slowly realising what Anthony feared above all. It was understandable but Benedict did not want to push it. Anthony had never opened up to him like this, ever. “She would not be alone Anthony” He repeated tightening his grip around Anthony’s torso. “She would have me, and the others and we would look after her and your children, always.”

“And if I died without issue?”

It was a question that sent Benedict’s heart into spasms “I would protect and provide for her. She can live here, I would see that she is more than comfortable, you know I would.”

Anthony drew back and wiped his face roughly. “Thank you Ben. I cannot love her but you are right” He cleared his throat and Benedict grinned.

“I usually am right”

Anthony glowered. “Don’t push it you, she will make me happy and fuck I desire her so yes. I shall ask her.”

Benedict felt relief wash over him at Anthony’s resolve. Although he rather thought that Anthony was fooling himself by believing he would not allow himself to love Kate Sheffield. He said nothing however he had learnt long ago that when it came to Anthony it was sometimes better to let him figure these things out for himself. So instead he sighed and said, “Finally! It took you long enough. She is in the garden, I suppose you will go now?” 

Anthony stood and nodded and then frowned. “How do you know she’s in the garden?”

Benedict laughed at the sudden onset of jealousy that radiated from Anthony. “Well I had make sure she would say yes before I came in here and called you an idiot. I wasn’t going to let you fuck it up that much”.

That stopped Anthony in his tracks. “She told you she would say yes if I asked her to marry me?”

Benedict grinned. “Of course she bloody didn’t she’s just as idiotic as you, but she will say yes I am sure of it. Just kiss her senseless and make sure you tell her that she is allowed to be selfish. You both are.”

Anthony returned his grin somewhat sheepishly and Benedict reached for the forgotten blue ring box on the table and threw it at him. “Don’t forget this.” 

Anthony caught it but then shook his head. “This is not the ring for Kate” He strode over to his desk and rummaged in a draw until he pulled out another diamond and pocketed it. “Do I look alright?”

Benedict nodded. “No black eyes.”

Anthony barked out a laugh and then drew in a breath seemingly nervous. “And she’s in the garden?”

He nodded again. “Yes by the tulips, she was painting”

Anthony looked taken aback. “Painting? I didn’t know she could paint.”

Benedict gestured to the watercolour atop his sketchbook. “Yes she’s very good actually. I said I would have this framed for her. She wants to give it to mother as a thank you for letting her stay.”

Anthony picked up the painting and Benedict could see a small smile spread across his face. “Mother will adore that.”

“Mother adores her already.”

Anthony nodded. “She does rather, will you tell Mother where I am she will want to start managing and no doubt she will want a celebration.”

Benedict stood and nodded. “My next port of call I assure you.”

Anthony made to stride from the room but paused at the door. “And you’ll be best man?”

Benedict joined his brother and clapped him on the shoulder. “Well obviously, Collin can’t bloody well do it.” And with that they parted ways and Benedict chuckled to himself. Edwina Sheffield had been right, elder siblings were seriously idiots.


	4. Anthony and Kate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a Bee and three mothers rather get in the way of an important question.

Anthony could not help but feel nervous as he strode briskly across the grounds towards the flower gardens. This was good he reminded himself. He had been a fool, but he would not admit that to anyone apart from his brother and maybe Kate. She would make him happy and he would ensure her happiness. He couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy when Benedict had discovered a hidden talent of Kate’s before he did but Anthony did think her watercolour intended for his mother was stunning. The fact that she had thought it would be a suitable present for his mother was truly endearing to him. 

He spied her as Benedict said he would, in the garden alone, her right hand raised gracefully as she painted. In that moment surrounded by blooms and wearing a pale lavender dress, Anthony thought her truly beautiful . He gulped clenching his trembling hands into fists and then pushed himself to approach her. Upon closer inspection he could see she was painting the view infront of her, a whirl wind of colour bleeding out on the thick paper delicately. Her hand was so delicate, Anthony thought he could admire her hands for days and days. He had dreamed of her hands doing all sorts which always brought a flush to his face and a tightening below. He had held her hand only the previous night as she had shook in terror and he longed to just reach out and take them again, lace his fingers through her soft skin. The ring in his pocket seemed to burn making its presence known bringing him out of his reverie. He cleared his throat.

“I thought I might find you here” He called closing the distance between them to stand beside the stone bench. Kate did not turn immediately, she finished off the petal she was filling in and carefully placed the brush down beside her.

“You were searching for me my Lord?” She asked finally looking up at him, her brown eyes curious but Anthony was relieved to see that there was no longer the malice within them. Kate looked tired and Anthony felt a pang in his gut when the memory of last night appeared.

“Yes I was actually” Anthony smiled slightly. “How are you? After last night I mean.”

She frowned slightly and then swallowed. “I am much better thank you. I was um.....” She gestured to the painting. “I was actually painting this for you, as a thank you for coming to my rescue”.

Anthony felt his heart expand impossibly and it took all his control not to sweep her up in his arms and kiss her there and then. “That is extremely thoughtful Kate, but truly I did not do much rescuing.”

Her eyebrows shot up, her eyes boring into his earnestly. “Oh no but you did. It was the first time in my life where someone completely took away my fears. You truly were amazing.”

Anthony swallowed, a lump forming in his throat. He never wanted her to ever fear anything ever again. “You are too kind” he managed to whisper.

Kate smiled shyly, a pretty blush blooming in her cheeks and then jumped slightly. “I’m so sorry would you like to sit?” She made a fuss of moving her paints out the way to make room for him beside her.

“Thank you, I did come to find you to talk to you about something.” He finally said his heart leaping at the chance to move closer to her. He could feel the warmth of her thigh pressed against his through the layers of fabric barring him from her naked skin.

“How can I help my Lord?” She beamed at him.

“Anthony please” He muttered craving his name on her lips.

“How can I help you Anthony?” She repeated and Anthony felt his groin tightening. He swallowed and tried to take a steadying breath.

“I asked your sister for her hand in marriage earlier” He started evenly. Her eyes which had been filled with curiosity suddenly turned cold and pained and he saw tears beginning to well up before she turned her face from him sniffing audibly.

“That is.....that is wonderful news, congratulations” Kate gasped wiping her face surreptitiously. “I am so happy for you both-“

Anthony felt as if he was being torn apart, she was actually crying and he needed to nip this in the bud now. “She refused me”

Kate turned sharply gaping at him. “She what?”

Anthony smiled gently. “Edwina refused my proposal-“

“She was foolish to do that” Kate interrupted her words tumbling out rapidly, Anthony tried to get a word in but it was no use, she was rambling now. “I am so sorry my Lord, I will go to her now and make her see sense. She shouldn’t have refused you, she knows it’s a good match” She stood abruptly. “Let me find her , I must apologise for the embrasement”

“Kate” Anthony begun but she cut him off again.

“I will go and get her, I will speak with her she is not seeing sense, fear not my Lord I will ensure-“

“Christ woman!” Anthony cried out standing and grasping her firmly by the shoulders and shaking her slightly. “Would you please shut up and listen?”

Kate stopped her lips trembling as if to speak and then took a breath and nodded.

“She refused me and I am not upset because your dear sister reminded me of something that I have been trying to ignore since the day I met you. I should have never perused your sister it was foolish of me we truly have nothing in common and whilst I know that one day she would make a lovely wife, she is not the wife for me”

Kate gaped at him. What was he saying? What had Edwina said to him? She knew Edwina should have accepted and also knew that she would have had a good reason to refuse him. Her heart raced at a rapid pace, she felt sick. “I....” She was stammering she felt foolish. “I don’t understand” She whispered and all the damned man did was smile at her.

“Oh Kate can’t you see?” His voice was full of something, was it passion? Kate truly had no idea what to say or how to answer. Did she see what? 

“Kate” Anthony said again and she could not ignore the fluttering in her stomach when he said her name. But then his face drained of blood and he looked positively terrified.

“Anthony? Anthony what’s wrong?”

“Don’t move” He looked positively possessed his eyes fixed on a spot above her left shoulder. She turned her head and then heard a low buzzing. A bee was floating around her head. She waved her hand trying to shoo it away but Anthony grasped her wrist and held it vicelike in the air.

“Anthony! It’s just a bee! For crying out loud would you let go of me?” Kate cried but he did not move.

“Stay still and it will fly away” He muttered his eyes narrowing but his grip was hurting her and she was growing angry. What the hell was wrong with him? She twisted away from him grappling at his sleeve with her other hand and then accidentally knocking the bee in mid air. It buzzed angrily as it landed just below her collarbone. Kate let out a shriek of pain as it sunk its stinger into her skin. 

“OW, oh damn” she looked down at the red welt as it began to swell painfully. “Damn damn damn, it hurts!” Kate swatted away the dead carcass. “Well at least it’s dead, the beastly - what do you think you are doing?” She cried but Anthony had gone completely bloodless and was dragging her to sit down, standing over and drawing a handkerchief from his pocket pressing hard against the whole of her breast as he squeezed the wound.

“I’m expressing the venom.” He muttered his voice shaking with what seemed fear.

“You think there is venom?” Kate asked trying to ignore the fact that he had his hand completely on her breast.

“There must be” He snapped. “There must be something that’s killing you.”

Kate paused in disbelief. “Killing me?Anthony, Christ! You can’t die from a bee sting, honestly I’ve been stung so many-“

“He died” Anthony muttered gravely his eyes not leaving her skin.

“Who’s he?” Kate snapped desperately.

“My father” Anthony looked up at her briefly and she could see the pain in his eyes. “He had been stung before too”

That was when Kate knew that she had to let Anthony do what he needed to find piece of mind. This irrational fear drove his actions and she needed to let him. She touched his hand gently. “I think you have got most of it out” She whispered.

He shook his head removing the handkerchief. “It’s not enough. I need to get it all.”

“I’m sure that-“ but she couldn’t say anymore because he was pushing her back into the bench and lowering his face to her skin as if to kiss her. “Anthony!”

His lips pressed against the sting and she could feel him gently sucking. Her eyes widened in shock and she was paralysed momentarily.

That was when Kate realised that they had an audience. 

Lady Bridgerton, Mary and Portia Featherington stood there in shock and Kate gasped.

“Anthony Bridgerton!” Lady Bridgerton shouted just as Mary shouted “Kate! What is going on?”

In a flash Kate pushed Anthony’s shoulders hard, and taken by surprise Anthony fell off her onto the ground at her feet.

“Mother” He grimaced but Kate interrupted.

“Lady Bridgerton I’m so -“

“She was stung by a bee mother, I had to get the venom out.” Anthony said quickly and Kate noticed that Violet Bridgerton’s eyes seemed to mist over with understanding.

“That’s not what it looked like” Portia Featherington said haughtily. 

“It was!” Kate exclaimed jabbing her finger at her collarbone. “Look!”

But Portia Featherington merely raised an eyebrow. “Lud girl, he had his mouth on your bubbies and we all saw it!”

“Mary!” Kate pleaded. “He was not on my ..... it was a bee sting!”

Mary studied her a mixture of pity and and concern across her features. “Be that as it may you are in full view of the house, anyone could have seen you and draw their own conclusions that Lord Bridgerton has taken liberties with your virtue”

Kate gaped at her in despair. This was insane and completely unfair.

“Mother” Anthony snapped. “You know I would never-“

“Mrs Sheffield is right Anthony” Lady Bridgerton said in a businesslike tone. “You are in full view of the guest wing, this will need to be dealt with swiftly.”

Kate turned to Anthony. Dealt with? What was she talking about. Anthony looked as if he was about ready to murder someone. “I suppose you have not come across Benedict on your walk.” He ground out.

“No I haven’t seen him since breakfast why?” 

Kate was utterly confused what had Benedict Bridgerton to do with any of this?

“Then he hasn’t had the chance to explain to you that I was dealing with this right up until we were interrupted by that damned insect.”

All four women looked at Anthony confused and there was silence until Portia Featherington leaned into Mary and stated rather loudly “They will have to marry”

Anthony seemed to seethe before her as he got to his feet and plunged his hand into an inside pocket. “That” He snapped as he pulled out a small glittering object. “Was what I was trying to do” He ground out and Kate focused on the glittering object in his hand. It was a ring, a beautiful elegant ring and suddenly Kate felt herself deflate as her heart raced impossibly fast. There must be some mistake. Surely Anthony had not sought her out to ask her to marry him? She replayed the words he had said just before the bee appeared. He had been telling her that Edwina would not be the right wife for him. He had asked her if she could see. But she hadn’t understood and then they had been interrupted.

“Anthony?” Kate’s voice came out small and shaky but he didn’t turn to look at her.

“Mother could you please excuse us so I can do this properly? I rather think Miss Sheffield deserves that at least.”

Violet Bridgerton smiled and then turned to Mary who equally was beaming. “Yes of course, come along Portia. Shall we meet you inside in ten minutes?”

“Twenty” Anthony snapped.

Lady Bridgerton smirked and raised an eyebrow. “Fifteen and I won’t go higher”

Anthony pulled out his pocket watch and then nodded in agreement. He turned to Kate holding out his hand. She stared at him for a second and then took it knowing that soon her life would change forever.

They walked past their mothers and Portia Featherington down a path Kate did not know and Kate couldn’t help but realise they were moving away from the view of the house. They came to a gazebo where Anthony stopped and then turned pulling her to him and reached for a strand of loose hair. He tucked it delicately behind her ear.

“Are you alright?” He murmured his eyes were pools of deep chocolate and the sharp impatient rogue was gone replaced by a gently smiling impossibly handsome man.

Kate blinked rapidly. “I am a little confused”. She finally whispered.

He grinned boyishly. “I am sorry about all that. I...well...my father died from a bee sting. I don’t know what I would have done if you had-“

Kate smiled sadly and shook her head. “I understand that Anthony. What I don’t understand is why you have a ring in your pocket and why you told Portia Featherington that you were in the process of asking me, of all people. to marry you.”

Anthony cupped her face his thumb stroking her cheek. “Because it’s true. “ He whispered hoarsely and then laughed “Because I’ve realised that despite my best efforts, I cannot stop thinking about you, I cannot stop dreaming about you and when you’re sister refused me I realised what a fool I had been. All this time I was determined to dislike you, when really, you were becoming the only woman in my life that I am close with; The only woman in my life that I want to wake up to every morning and go to sleep beside every night. I want to share my life with you Kate , you make me so damned happy and I want you to be happy. I want you to be my wife.”

Kate blinked back tears. This man, this infuriating, rude, arrogant man wanted her and she just could not believe it. “How? There are so many women who are more graceful, more beautiful than-“ But she couldn’t finish her sentence because he was kissing her. Kissing her in a way that made her legs go weak. The hand that was on her face gripped the back of her head, the other wound round her waist and slid over her derrière pulling her flush against his desire.

“I want you Kate, don’t you see?” He whispered hoarsely, his lips trailing kisses down her neck. “Can you feel how much I want you?” He pushed her harder to him. “You have no idea how much I want you, you have no idea the things I want to do to you, the things I’ve dreamed of doing to you” He chuckled quietly and then groaned. “You are perfect. To me you are perfect” He kissed her lips again and this time Kate responded with fervour, his words lifting her heart, lifting her body so that she felt as if she was floating and he was the only thing in this world anchoring her. She reached her hands up to his hair clutching at the softness of it, moaning as his tongue explored every crevice of her mouth. She felt heat that she did not understand pool within her. He pulled back slightly and whispered. “Say yes, please say yes. Be my wife.”

Kate smiled broadly and nodded unable to form words. He reached for her left hand bringing it up to his lips before he sunk down to one knee, his hand trailing down the lines of her body and then delving onto his breast pocket he pulled out the ring again and held it at the tip of her fourth finger. “You have to say it. I need to hear you say it Kate”

Kate stared down at Anthony Bridgerton, all thoughts of responsibility, of self doubt, of insecurity gone. This man would be her husband. This man would marry and protect her until death do they part. She could love this man, she was sure she already did love him. She wasn’t sure if Anthony loved her but in that moment but it didn’t matter. He desired her that much was obvious and he had said he wanted to share his life with her and that would have to be good enough for the time being because she wanted him. She wanted him to herself. For the rest of her life. So she took a breath and whispered. “Yes, yes Anthony I will marry you”

She was back in his arms in an instant, the ring a comfortable weight on her finger. It somehow felt right, as did his lips and his hands and his arms. She fit him perfectly and she wanted him. Kate wanted him in ways she didn’t understand, but he made her feel beautiful. She moaned against his lips as his hands squeezed her breast softly.

“Tomorrow” He muttered pulling away so that his forehead was resting against hers. 

Kate giggled. “What’s happening tomorrow?” She asked breathlessly.

His hands were still feeling, squeezing, exploring. “We will marry tomorrow”

Kate pulled back laughing at the yearning look on his face. “We will not.”

He smiled wickedly. “Why not? If we marry tomorrow I can have you all to myself. Every.” He kiss her nose. “Single.” He kissed her cheek. “Part of you” He nibbled on her earlobe causing her to gasp.

“We cannot marry tomorrow think of the gossip! The entire ton would think you had your way with me in this very garden”

He hummed against her throat . “I want to have my way with you in more places than just this garden” 

“You are such a rake” Kate bit off. He only laughed and squeezed her derrière sighing contentedly.

“You will thank me for that on our wedding night I promise you”

Kate felt herself turn bright red. “Anthony we cannot marry tomorrow.”

He groaned throwing his head back and looking down at her. “We will have to marry soon, I can’t imagine Portia Featherington is going to stay quiet about what she stumbled across.”

Kate nodded in agreement. “Yes you are right about that.”

“How about next Saturday?”

Kate blanched, that was only six days away. “Anthony that’s still not very far away.”

“Exactly, honestly Kate I don’t think I will be able to control myself for any longer than a week.”

Kate raised an eyebrow at his roguish grin and then rolled her eyes. “You won’t be swayed with this will you?”

He shook his head smirking. “Afraid not. Your choices are tomorrow or next Saturday.”

Kate sighed, he really was a stubborn man. “Next Saturday it is then”

He beamed at her. “I shall be counting the hours”

“Will you make the announcement this evening?” Kate whispered feeling bold and lightly kissing him on the lips.

“Of course.”

Kate nodded mentally running through the gowns that had brought with her. None were really suitable for ones engagement announcement. “I shall need to decide what to wear”

“Do you have anything in blue?” Anthony asked looking thoughtful. “You look lovely in blue”

She hadn’t packed anything in blue but she knew Edwina had, an ice blue gown with Pearl embroidery. “I am sure I can find something.”

Kate couldn’t help but smile at him. “I am sure I can find something.”

He nodded and rummaged in his pocket looking to his watch. “We should go.” He murmured sounding slightly disappointed.

Kate nodded feeling slightly giddy but did not move to escape his embrace, she felt so much comfort in his arms. “Are you saying that to protect me from our mother’s wrath or from your rakish ways?”

Anthony grinned deviously. “The latter definitely.” He stepped away and offered his arm. “Ready to face the wolves?”

“Wolves?” Kate asked confused.

“My family. My sisters will want all the details and my brothers will want to share with you every embarrassing story about me”

Kate smiled filling with excitement at the prospect of joining such a lovely family. “Oh and I should warn you” Anthony added as they set off back up the path. “My mother will want to take you shopping. Just let her. It is easier that way.”

Kate laughed. “I shall keep that in mind Lord Bridgerton”

“I am glad to hear it Lady Bridgerton” He chuckled.

Kate shivered slightly. “I am not Lady Bridgerton yet.”

“You will be tomorrow” He replied smirking.

Kate slapped him lightly on the shoulder. “Next week Anthony”

“I thought you said tomorrow!” He exclaimed jovially.

“You know I did not.” Kate scowled.

He shrugged smiling. “Tomorrow, next week, I don’t really see the difference either way you are mine and I intend to let everyone know it.”


End file.
